I’m Worried!

So I am in a time of worry. I am in a time of worry because I am in a great time of need. I am in a time of need because I have no idea how I will pay my bills for the next 3 months.
I have no idea how I will pay my bills because I am following God into a new ministry opportunity- one with A LOT of risks!
I am worries about the financial implications of this ministry and I am worried about the success of this ministry.
What if it fails? What if it just stays “as is”. What if me taking on this ministry leads to a massive decline in the people it ministers to? What if the amount of money coming into the ministry plummits?
What if people don’t like the decisions I make invovling this ministry? Even worse, what if people don’t like ME because of not like liking the decisions I make?
What if this ministry becomes successful and that goes to my head? What if I forget about God and the people, and only focus on the money?
What are the implications of me not being able to pay my bills over the next three months? What if I lose my family’s car? Their house? Am I a lousy husband? A lousy father?
- Deep Breath -
I AM ANGRY BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS! I don’t know the future! I am not in control and that scares the hell (literally) out of me!!!
BUT…..this…is…exactly…where…God…wants……me.
He wants total surrunder because He knows the answers, He knows the future, and He plans the outcomes.
It’s been times like these in the past that God has used to bring me MUCH closer to Him.
Now what? Now I need to cast my worry, my fear, my anxiety, and my need upon Him- even if/when I don’t know how. Now I need to surrunder everything and realize that I am in control of nothing. I need to trust and to move out of God’s way and allow Him to work miracles in my life, in my family, in my ministry, in my neighborhood, in my city, in my county, in my State, in my nation, in this continent, in the world, and throughout creation. Because that’s what God does- He works all things together for His glory and will one day restore all things to Him.
I am just blessed beyond belief to take a miniscule part in that. And I’m definitely not saying He needs me to fulfill that miniscule part- far from it! He simply allows me to take part, I believe, for His enjoyment- and maybe for a little of mine too!
Keep me in your prayers! I have a lot of surrendering to do!