I am sick….

Today my wife and I saw a very interesting film. It was 500 Days of Summer starring Zoey DesChannel. My wife said it best when she called it an ‘anti-love’ story.
The movie is really all about Tom, a young man who has a decent job as a greeting cards writer even though he dreams of being an architect (insert Decemberists song here). He has waited his whole life to find that ‘perfect someone’ so that he can finally experience true happiness.
That’s when we meet Summer, played by DesChannel, who moves to LA from Michigan and starts working with Tom.
After some great scenes between the two as they begin to show interest in each other, the pair begin to date- kind of.
You see, from the get-go, Summer advises Tom that she’s not interested in ‘anything serious’ and refuses to say that they are a couple, that they’re seeing each other, that they’re dating,or that they’re boyfriend and girlfriend.
This bothers Tom from the beginning, but he is so awe-struck with her that he is willing to go along with her commitment problems.
Summer is potrayed as a nice, quirky, free-spirited young woman with her head on her shoulders. She dresses very conservatively and carries herself that way as well.
But what bothers me so much about this film is that the ‘couple’ proceed to have sex on their first date, even immediately after Tom is told by her that she wants nothing serious? And the sex continues, at one point with Summer talking Tom into getting a porno then watching it together so they can try some of the moves in the shower.
So by her actions, Summer is potrayed as a….well….a whore, even though the character developed for her is so different.
Tom is so in love with Summer and wants so badly for her to classify their relationship but she just won’t. This leads ultimately to their ‘break-up (?)’ and causes Tom to fall into a deep depression.
As the movie progresses, the viewer is moved from a fanciful reception of Summer to one of disdain as she breaks Tom’s heart.
Without completely giving away the movie, and the reasoning for mentioning all this, I have to say that I am sick.
I am sick and tired of the media potraying sex as if it is no big deal- like it’s nothing special. Almost every movie teaches us, especially our young people, that sex is a casual part of life that takes place all the time amongst all kinds of people. And even though young people are urged to use protection during sex; condoms are never used in sex scenes, STDs are never contracted, and pregnancy is never a ‘side effect’.
The orchestrated order of courtship, love, marriage, then sex has been replaced by ‘sex, courtship, moving-in, love, then maybe marriage’.
Before the couple’s first date in the movie, Tom’s decent-seeming roomate asks him if he has recieved a ‘hum-job’ or a ‘hand-job’ from Summer yet? Tom has explained in beautiful terms to his roomate how head-over-heels he is for Summer. And his roommate’s response is wanting to know if he has gotten a hand-job yet?? Tom doesn’t care. Summer even over-hears the conversation and doesn’t care. He’s in love with a girl and the romantic topic that comes up is a ‘hand-job’?!!
We are in a very sad place now. Men don’t want a boy to touch their daughters, yet we teach our girls that in order for a boy to like her that she has to put-out: either with her hands, her mouth, or all the way. We teach them that sex is a way to thank a boy for a date. We teach them to have sex with lots of partners so they know who is most compatible with them. We teach them to dress provacitively to gain attention from men. We teach them that sex and love are two totally different things. And we teach them that you always shack-up with your boyfriend before you love him or even think about marrying him.
America, we teach our daughters to be dirty whores! And we teach our sons to exploit women! And we wonder why so many of our marriages end in divorce, why their are so many children without fathers, and why so many of our children are being sexually abused!
It’s time that we start considering the opposite sex as being sacred. It’s time that we fall in love with someone and then make a covenant with them to never leve them no matter how in love we do or do not feel. It’s time that we realize that sex is something to be given to someone you love in the most intimate way in order to connect on such a deep level- not just something friends do ( as Tom realizes in the movie after Summer takes advantage of his feelings in order to get what she wants).
I am sick because at one point Tom and Summer are lying in bed while Summer let’s her guard down and tells Tom things that she has never told anyone. Tom is narrating this scene and declares his joy over the fact that Summer has chosen to become so intimate with him, as if the multiple times they have had sex was not intimate- as if it was just something friends did.
Now towards the end of the movie, Tom realizes his faults, but Summer does not. She is too care free to care. And our girls go away from the movie thinking that there are no consequences for their actions and that there is nothing special about love, relationships, or sex.
It’s time that we wake up!