Stopping Is Not An Option

Last night a young man died. His family was rightfully grieving and distraught.

I went to be there for this family. I had no words to say. All I had was the Holy Spirit living within me. That’s always more than enough.

It is a wretched horrible things to witness the tradgedy of death as a family mourns their loved one.

It is inconcievable for man to have to bury his own child. It is not the way things should be.

I was strong. I don’t let things like this effect me too much when interacting with survivors.

But it is draining emotinally, physically, and spiritually beyond belief. And I’m just a distant freind. The family goes through a warzone as they grieve and mourn their loss.

When I returned home, I lifted my son out of his sleep and held him tightly as if he belonged to me and that I could protect him from the evils of this world. And I prayed.

But as I awoke this morning I realized that I did not want to wake at all. It was pouring down rain outside. The sky was dark. And the world’s darkness showed us ugly face the night before. I did not want to face this world.

Today was running day- Uuugh!

My body ached and told me not to go, that it wasn’t worth it. But as an act of reluctant worship to my body’s Creator, I did it. And it hurt!

Never has a run been so hard for me. Joints that never hurt every other day as I run this same path were throbbing in pain. The rain and the wind seemed to curse down on me especially hard.

Oh my hip! Something was wrong. Every ounce of my being screamed at me to STOP!

That’s what death will do to you, tell you to give up and to throw in the towel.

But deep down within my soul, the Spirit of God reminded me that this life is not about death, pain, and destruction. He reminded me that I have been called to be light in dark places on His behalf. He reminded me that life was a gift and that I needed to live it.

So as my hip grabbed and lunged at my mind I screamed, out loud, “I WILL NOT STOP!”

I didn’t care who heard me. This wasn’t about me choosing not to stop a rum. This was about me choosing to live and to ‘be right here, right now, present in this time and place.”

I was literally running and death wanted me to stop. But this is a race. And at the finish line is such a glorious prize for my Savior and I.

You see, “Stopping…is NOT an option.”