Consuming Vision

God has given me passion to see a vision realized. The vision to see people truly connected to an everlasting committed relationship with Jesus Christ through the radical actions of grace, love, and hope of a local church empowered by the Holy Spirit often consumes me. To see a move of God in my city where thousands come to know Jesus yearly, as is happening in other U.S. cities, drives my every move.

I believe God is looking for those who are willing to totally surrender their lives and their leadership positions to Him despite what others may think or the “religious” traditions of the Church. I am one such person and I, like Isaiah, am crying,” Here am I, send me!” I long so desperately to be a part of what God can do to a city, but am thrilled if God uses someone else. I just want to know that I did all I could do and all God has planned for me in order to see such things happen.

To be totally honest and transparent though, almost just as much as I long to be a part of such things, do I fear the possibility of such things never happening, or me never being used to accomplish such things. I loathe the idea of going to the grave without making a big impact in this world.

I’m so weird that I even fear what would happen if God did use me to reach a city in a big way. What kind of pressure would that create? What kind of expectations would people place on me? How would it effect the time that I spend with people I care about? Then, what if I failed and everything I had worked so hard for came crashing down? Etc…

Either way, my life is God’s, and everything in it. The world is God’s, and everything in it. I’m just a small supporting role in this giant story of power, love, and redemption. I just want to make my small supporting role, and the ‘screen time’ it gets, count! I want Jesus to use me. And even more than that, I want to be obedient, so that when I am called to be used, I will be ready and effective.